LAYING the foundation for your study preparations ahead of the finals should include both parents and pupils setting expectations and coping strategies.
Jogini Packery, a counselling psychologist, shared tips on how to successfully do this during the recent student hacks webinar hosted by the South African College of Applied Psychology (SACAP) with the aim of helping families prepare for the finals.
“It’s important to understand that having a positive attitude towards matric studies and exams is not about pretending it’s all going to be peachy and rosy. It’s about your child having the coping strategies that enable them to settle their emotions and focus on what needs to be done next,” said Packery.
She said parents could provide essential support in helping their child to constantly re-evaluate what was working for them and what was not.
“Open and effective communication remains an essential support tool. Regular check-ins and chats will help you understand what your child’s support needs are and if you’re asserting yourself too strongly. Of course, you want to help your child reach their potential, so help them explore their goals, their career options and study plans to reach those goals.
“Another good skill for parents to utilise when supporting their matric-going child is self-awareness which goes beyond knowing who we are. It is the conscious awareness of our own feelings, thoughts and behaviours. If you're having a strong emotional reaction, unpack it by asking yourself why you are feeling that way and what thought or engagement brought on/ triggered that feeling.
“Catch yourself in thought and behaviour patterns. If those patterns are associated with strong negative feelings that leave you feeling edgy or irritated, ask yourself why. It may be because your expectations are not being met or are unachievable by your child. Either way, speaking to your child about it is a start and speaking to a professional will most definitely help the process.”
Packery said teaching children about resilience was equally important.
“Resilience is an individual mindset that is manifested in our attitudes and beliefs. It is the belief that no matter what happens in life, you are internally and externally resourceful enough to find ways to bounce back, which usually starts with the ability to look into solutions (research) and ask for help when necessary (reach out).
“To model resilience during matric, help your child explore subjects that they are struggling at, study approaches that are not working for them, career options that allow for different paths to arriving at, and a Plan B and Plan C. In order to do so, you need to model resourcefulness and critical thinking.”
She said resourcefulness was the ability to find answers to questions that may not exist yet.
“For example, if I wanted to become a psychologist, what exactly would it entail? Resourcefulness would require me to answer this question through various means of engagement. I may call SACAP to speak to an admissions officer, I may go onto the SACAP.edu.za website to research the minimum entry requirements, I may speak to a psychologist who has already walked the path, or a student who is currently enrolled to a programme that I could see myself in.
“In addition to resourcefulness, parents should encourage the utilisation of critical thinking; compare options, explore the pros and cons of each. Explore impressions and biases or one’s gut feeling. This way of thinking will allow you and your child to understand the driving forces behind their decisions at the end of the day.
“When these two skills come together, we are able to operate from a solution-focused approach that is strengths based, allowing us to know what is in our control and acting on that to make small progresses. This helps us from getting or feeling stuck in life's crossroads.”
She said some practical components that are essential to building resilience are:
* Learning to effectively recognise and express our feelings respectfully (develop your emotional vocabulary and ways of communication).
* Building and engaging a solid support system (associate yourself purposefully with people who understand and support your goals).
* Continuously learning new coping skills like journaling, meditating, exercising, enjoying a hobby, living a balanced life that allows for healthy socialising.
“Each stage of life or significant life event will shake that balance and require you to use different skills and coping strategies to find a new equilibrium, so do not be scared to try new ways of dealing with life’s stressors.”
For more information on these points and for other recordings of both the learner and parent webinars visit SACAP’s YouTube Channel here.
*The examinations were initially scheduled to start on November 1. This was recently amended to October 27 due to the Municipal elections which will take place on November 1. According to the revised time table, the finals will still wrap up on December 7.